The importance of Body Language

Body language is a very important element in communicating your interest or approachability. Also the eye contact and smiling is very important. But what are some of the other clues you can send to let a member of opposite sex know you find them attractive? Your posture, how you position your body in relation to theirs, touch, and facial expression are all ways that can communicate openness or disinterest.

To give you an idea of how all of these factors work together to make a positive or negative impression, let me give you a scenario.

Imagine someone is making a play for your attention, and you find the person completely unacceptable. You have no interest in him or her at all, and in fact, you want the person to leave you alone. What what you do to convey that message, short of telling the person to get lost?

You would probably avoid eye contact. You would look over the person’s shoulder at a spot across the room, or you might even turn your head away. You would probably turn your body away slightly and fold your arms across your chest. You would frustrate conversation by responding only when necessary, and then with only a yes or no.

Only the densest person would fail to get the message. Your body language has said it all, without a word being spoken.

Your body language can either radiate positive energy and a feeling of openness or can tell people stay away. Crossed arms can mean, “I’m feeling vulnerable and need to protect myself,” or it can mean, “I’m not open to you. Leave me alone.”

If you want to be approachable, do not cross your arms. Lift your chin slightly to make eye contact easier, and straighten your shoulders to let people know you are alert and open to meeting them.

By the same token, if someone crosses his or her arms or legs as you approach, or if a person is sitting with his or her head down and shoulders slumped, it probably means the person is unreceptive.

One lady attended a Christmas party hoping to meet some new people and couldn’t understand when no one talked to her. A few weeks later, when her friend showed her pictures from the party, she realized why no one had approached her. The photos showed her slimped in a corner of the couch with her arms folded and chin down. She was shocked to see what a negative impression her posture had given.

From that moment on, she made sure to keep her chin up, she kept her arms in an open position and she smiled and make eye contact whenever she saw someone she was interested in meeting.